And hath finally met the our of doom,
agony gone with you in the same room.
I’ve said the words I havenae said in ages,
the rage hadth died for a moment in ages.
A gift from the Gods or from life a token,
“Life is beautiful” were the words spoken.
Things my baby sends me to cheer me up …
Digging in like a miner into the ground,
Interlocking in the skin tight and bound.
Pouring source of mortal fragile human life,
The taste, the texture the cause of strife.
Slide down against heralds of words spoken,
A mark for reminder and vitae for a token.
The walls have been breached
Swords are drawn and ready,
The castle’s been reached
The last line holds steady.
The sheilds have clashed
And warriors are falling,
Now the last two stand
And they start brawling.
Blow after blow
Hit after hit,
The raven and the crow
The dust have both bit.
Behold! Behold! Ladies And Gentlemen!
Thy Shall See Horror By The Count Of Ten!
One, Look Look At The Fear In It’s Eyes!
Two, Look Look At It Trembling while it Cries!
Three, Oh Blimey It’s Starting To Sweat!
Four, Ma’am I’d Step Back It’s Full of Regret!
Five, Oh lovely now it’s getting irritated!
Six, I warn you hold or you’ll be obliterated!
Seven, Oh now now look at it shake!
Eight, Good Thing These Chains It Can’t Break!
Nine! Oh Dear! It’s Going To Scream!
Ten, I’m Really Sorry But It’s Felt, Not Seen!
There’s no respect for the mentally sick on this fucking island .. none at all and when you try your damned best to point it out you’re insulted and turned into a perpetrator rather then somebody who’s not healthy and is in need of help. I wake up every fucking day and struggle to do my best to go to work, be productive and earn my pay and what I get in return is a living fucking hell just because I’m never taken for serious that my problem is a medical one and not just shinnanigans or attitude then people really wonder why I want to kill myself …
as of the last couple of weeks … an Interesting entity has started to crawl her way into this fucked up mess of a life and I’m quite amazed how things have somewhat changed. Though .. I’m still thinking of blowing my brains aff as ever as any other day for the last ten years or so … now there’s also the thought of … “oi you fucking wanker … maybe after all she might be the one who even though has her fair … or bigger share of problems in her ways she does give a fuck and Is trying to help you out .. and you should really fucking keep that in mind.”. This comes from a stand off where I’ve been thinking about for about a week .. or two … I lost fucking track .. anyway … you wouldnae expect a person you’ve meet as of recent to say “… you know that If you’d have to kill yourself … that might leave me in a bad place someway somehow” .,.. now those are not the exact words spoken but that’s how at least I perceived it” also adding “if I find out (and I will) that you’ve been hurting yourself physically again … I’m going to kick your bloody arse … and you willnae like it.” and I’ve thought long and hard about it. Now … I never swear, or promise anything if I’m certain I cannae live up to that word … (religious obligations and all ..) but I did feel compelled that I’d promise „, not to her but to a Diety … yet I also did say “I willnae do it again” to her and I intend to honour that word. I’m not sure what I’ve found in this person, apart from the fact I know were play partners, I guess someway somehow we also found a person who we can rely on and share experiences with and by trying to understand each other’s mess up we support each other. .. I know this is probably another “useless rant on the net” but what I’m trying to get to is,I’m sure if the idea of killing meself has now a “competitor” which is the thought of this person being somebody I can rely on and share experiences with definitely is something that I havenae experienced in a long while and it makes me thankful that this person made it that way.